I actually wrote this one before the previous From The Archives post. Looking back I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. I’ll be leaving for my twenty-seventh mission in a couple of months and to be totally honest I’m quite amazed at how much I’ve grown as a person since then. Leaving home hasn’t gotten any easier, but I have a clearer sense of purpose now, knowing that what we do actually matters even though our loved ones will never know what we do on assignment. I’ve come to accept that the better we do our jobs, the more they will take our peace and prosperity at home for granted. And that isn’t a bad thing. The less they worry the easier it is for us to keep peace of mind on mission time. Reflecting on my old writing from a couple of years ago, I’ve come to realise that God’s plan for me was to educate me on the importance of life and how important the safety of my loved ones is to me, that regardless of their awareness of my love for them that I’ve never take them for granted. They are the reason I serve and the reason I want to make it home again.
FROM THE ARCHIVES
Eemz’s Originals: “I’m a Soldier not a Warrior”
Almost two years since my last mission, just when I thought I was safe, they send me back in for number eighteen, which I’ve been promised would be the last time…as I was told almost two years ago when I got reassigned back to doctrine and last year when I got seconded to be vice chief code monkey.
Thinking that having been moved back to doctrine that I’d never have to pick up a gun again. As a defence technical officer, my job is to play Micheal Schofield for the battlefield (which explains everything). Understandably the reason why I get the arrows I do. Due dilligence & first contact/special envoy assignments.
True to the fact that Foreign Affairs officers are just overpaid postmen, when the need arises to negotiate with gangsters they send in the soldiers… in uniform and sometimes otherwise.
Apparently when the sovereign entity possesses equitable resources in foreign lands, they need to make sure that these assets aren’t fuct with. That’s where the Captains ‘for’ industry come in, ‘Commissioned’ Intermediaries, the natural born deal makers with the intrinsics to work with guns at the table.
The lads that do the shit that most scholars and suits can’t. The shit that nobody sees. Deals with people that aren’t afraid to die. On top of knowing your socio-economic shit, to do this you have to have no intrinsic fear of death. You have to be born to do this, no one can develop the capacity for the composure & intellectual & social aptitude required, you’re either born with it or not. The only way to see if you actually have what it takes is if you survive a successful mission.
So another ‘routine’ mission to a desert live zone to negotiate mine access route security with the local ‘constituency’. Seemingly indestructable and more than just lucky I don’t expect any more trouble than the usual haggle over pricing. The organisation heads are always all smiles when they meet us, so I will definitely be back in one piece and even more alive, despite farkin hating the desert.
So much for what I do for my country.
But feeling quite jiwang from my recent jamming sessions I am somehow compelled to write a rock song about the emotions that experienced by a Special Unit Commander everytime he leaves his loved ones to go on assignment. Very much inspired by David Cook’s ‘Permanent’ which I’m listening to as I write this.
It would be really cool if you listened to DC’s Permanent while reading the lyrics below…sooo I attached the link here: David Cook ~ Permanent
“I’m a Soldier not a Warrior”
by Eemz DanJrR
As I go away tonight,
I can’t help but feel you cry,
What can I say?
I can’t say no.
Somebody has to go and fight.
Somebody has to keep you safe.
I can’t look you in the eye.
Can’t promise that I’ll come back.
Even as I go away, my love for you will still remain.
All I can say is that it’s touch & go,
May not see you again.
My duties can’t refrain,
My love for you will still remain.
I know it’s not fair but,
Times come by and I have to lead my men,
Someone has to take command,
But we knew that,
Right from the start,
That life wasn’t going to be fair.
I’m a soldier not a waaariioor,
I fight only to defend,
Only to defeeend.
Yet why am I in hell every single day,
In a foreign land, foreiiign laaaand,
But it’s all worthwhile knowing you’ll hold my hand,
If I return not in a body bag.
And if I don’t,
Promise me you won’t cry,
Take this song and please move on,
That’s why I wrote this soooong.
And if I do come back,
I promise to look you in the eye,
You are the reason why.
You are the reasooon whyyy!
The reason why…. [fade out]